Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
