Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
