everyone is single if you try hard enough
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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