she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
