He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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