Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Randomize
