i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
