I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
