shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just invented taco cereal.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
