For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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