This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
