White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
