The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
