You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
