your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
