finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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