He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
