New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You made out with two different species that night
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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