But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
