Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
