I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
