im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
