at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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