Reggie can tackle my bush.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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