i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He felt like a one man threesome
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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