If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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