I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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