problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
