It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize