My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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