FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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