you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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