And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
