he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
