I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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