you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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