I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
