Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
