Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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