The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
NoShamevember. You game?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
