So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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