literally had 100 drinks last night.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
