Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It's rum buckets o'clock
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
