Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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