The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
