Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
