just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
