I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
