If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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