once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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